Dear Mr. Abramoff,

Congratulations on the plea deal, your seediness can therefore make you an even bigger star than previously thought. You may even make history books.
I just have one little piece of advice, I understand that The Godfather is your absolute favorite movie ever. It's a fantastic movie. I wholeheartedly agree. But, don't you think you're going a bit overboard in the mobster similarities? It just seems a bit excessive. Take a look at these examples.

Here's you from yesterday:

Here are two pictures of Robert De Niro from the second Godfather film:

Perhaps you dress like this always, and people actually have taken to referring to you as "Don" Abramoff, but if this is not the case, and you are not secretly related to any major crime families or anyone from the cast of The Sopranos, I would strongly suggest taming the Mafia thing down a bit. It just might help your image.

Always open with more fashion advice for shady shady people,
Niki Hawthorne